Choosing the Right Drinks

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Joshua Jacobs (23 May 2011 posted on Authonomy.com):

Choosing the Right Drinks is moving and contains a powerful message. The dialogue between Clemency and Joseph is genuine and intriguing. I found myself skimming the paragraphs, excited to get to the next "intoxication," curious to see how the story ended. I love that Clemency, this lonely, "fat girl" has the attention of any man she wants at the end of the story not because of some physical change she underwent, but because of an internal change, a transformation of her heart and attitude. In the end, it was a great reminder to not waste away our days on material or trivial intoxications, but rather positive, long-lasting, life-changing intoxications. If the entire collection of short stories is this good, then I can't wait to read more.

Jon Bon (20 February 2011 posted on Authonomy.com):

Just read Choosing the Right Drinks and it was very good. Left me thinking about several things. I can imagine myself being old and looking back on life and thinking what if. it's one of my biggest fears. The only thing i will say is the descriptions went on a little bit. I feel it stopped the flow and found myself wondering off. The dialogue was great, but it was broken up far too much. All in all, very good though, JB

Ivan Amberlake (19 February 2011 posted on Authonomy.com):

Fletcher! A book that you may start reading from any chapter you like, that’s great!!! I would like to comment on “Choosing the Right Drinks” for a start. I have to say Joseph asks powerful and thought-provoking questions on the intoxication of life. You put the words nicely into his mouth. I love that. I think lots of people, together with Clemency, may find parallels between their lives and the life of Joseph, who virtually sobered up only when it was too late. I hope that story would make people realize that every second of our lives matters, and we should make it worth living, not just wasting away.

Susie Lovelock (10 February 2011 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Dear Fletcher, I have now read 'Choosing the right drink.' You write beautifully and there are some fantastic descriptions in this story - "His eyes burnt like a window onto an endless night of torment" - just beautiful!

The story brings up some very interesting points in the characters if Clemency and Joseph which I think are close to everyones hearts. I think everyone has that moment in life where we wonder what we've achieved, the regrets we have and what a waste they are and we hold on to those regrets as the defining point of our lives.

Joseph has spent his life obsessed with finding the one thing that will define what it means to live and have a full life and in the process has wasted time climbing that mountain only to realise that at the top the view wasn't worth the climb whereas Clemency is almost so consumed by the fear that she is worthless and that no one will love her that she is afraid to live and so she regrets that she hasn't. Really they find the answers in each other - she learns that her caring nature is the thing that makes her visible and valued and that she is not alone in how she feels - we are just all human trying to find our way and Joseph gets to share his last moments with someone who cares and maybe finds the love he has been looking for.

A truly beautiful story. All the best, Susan

Francene Stanley (2 February 2011 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Hi Fletcher, I've read the nurse chapter and found myself captivated. The story and moral is intriguing and could be applied to the reader in so many ways.

Now, to the writing. Even though most of it is inner thoughts, there are many sentences where you could reword to remove 'was', 'were' and 'had'. Those are simply awkward.

At the beginning, the head-hopping distracts the reader. And I don't see the need for it. If you stayed in the nurses pov, you could hint at the others inner turmoil without 'tell'ing how they thought. This challenges the writer as to how to show these emotions through the nurse's eyes.

Lastly, I thought the ending too abrupt. You could draw it out a little more. One para for Joseph's death, another para for how the nurse visited others, and even more at how the men wouldn't leave her alone. I'd like to see the builder outside the window's different reaction, then an orderly, then the sister in charge and the way she responds. Don't short-change the reader. This is a wonderful story.

[FK. But it's a short story, not a novel.]

John Squires (31 January 2011 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Read Choosing the right drinks, and My constant companion. Will comment on the first…. I liked the idea of the story and I agree with someone that it ‘held its intensity and leant itself to an unexpected ending’. I liked the way Clemency, no longer shackled, holds Joseph’s hand offering a connection and seems to have redeemed her life of self intoxication but now finds herself trapped, having to fend off the attention of all those dying men. I think I would have wanted more direct speech between Clemency and Joseph. You write ‘he went on to describe how he became obsessed with improving his handicap...’ I think that in so doing you miss an opportunity to explore Clemency’s changing relationship with Joseph and her past in a more powerful way. The same with the painting. And I would have liked to have been there when Clemency has to leave him each time. What does she say? What does she do?…

A refreshing change to find a book of short stories with a distinctive voice. Happy to star and back later, Best wishes, John

K.S. Koop (25 January 2011 posted on Authonomy.com):

I've just read "Choosing the Right Drinks," and I'd like to say you write very well and your conventions are good. I was drawn in from the very beginning; however, I have a few comments for you.

My main criticism for this particular story is in the origin of the metaphor of obsessions being like intoxications -- the average person does not randomly introduce a metaphor like that; this could be explained by him having a lot of time alone to think of these things, to make that comparison, but as it really isn't explained in the story I was a little confused. I would have also liked a little more detail into Joseph's life -- instead of just saying he painted or played golf, could you describe it? Could he be telling a story of himself doing those things, instead of saying he did them? It would give more depth to Joseph's character, and a more gradual attachment between him and Clemency might help the reader better understand why he affects her so. As it stands, the story feels a bit rushed in my opinion, and some details and more anecdotes on Joseph's part might help it feel more natural.

[FK. it is a short story, not at novel, don’t forget.]

I would also like to say that the character of Clemency seems a little flat; all we know about her, really, is that she is alone. I don't think her character requires more backstory, like Joseph's, but little details to give us further insight to her character might make her more relatable to the audience. So far as I can see, all of her character details have to do with her want of a man, and as that seems to be her only motivation I cannot really think all that much of her. Why is does she become so obsessed with Joseph's story? Why does it make her think about her own life? What is it about Clemency that makes her different from the people around her?

[FK. fascinating. I find that these comments just reveal to me the limitations of this critics mind. when reading a story, each reader brings to the story all his own past experiences and emotions; for that reader, this is what provides the story’s content. If the reader does not have any of that content in their memory, no amount of me pointing out the blatantly obvious is going to implant all that life-experience into that particular reader’s mind. just a thought.]

Overall, I rather liked this story, and I will be backing your book.

Nigel Fields (24 January 2011 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Choosing the Right Drinks is a valuable read, never trite; it is beautifully insightful, poignant, uplifting. This is going on my WL as I have to come back and read more. Bravo,

NA Randall (5 December 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Fletcher, I read Choosing the Right Drinks a few months back, and really enjoyed and admired your writing style. 'A Substitute Passion' covers similar emotional territory, and is of the same high quality. Your observational touches are a special feature, the way you get into the heads of your characters - who are a little lonely and lost - gives your stories a depth rarely found. When I get a bit of space on my shelf, I'll be happy to give you another spin, and hope to dip back into your collection when I have more time.

“jenny101” (26 November 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I read Choosing the Right Drinks and really enjoyed it. Touching and poignant. You write fluently and with great sensitivity.

Raven Jake (26 November 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Choosing the Right Drinks. There is some really good characterization in this. Each person is clearly defined and visible. There are excellent digressions in the character’s lives which really defines them as people. They’re fun to read and have unique personalities. This is a good read.

That said this feels like an almost great short story. As The formatting and punctuation are distracting from what you’re going for. There is a lot of perspective where characters are noticing, and finding things suddenly, which was constantly removing. I wanted to be right in the scene, and for every scene to flow as smoothly as some of the sections do.

Raymund Dring (26 November 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Choosing the Right Drinks is certainly thoughtful and well written.

“mike 697” (31 October, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Dear Fletcher, I have just finished reading, 'Choosing the right drink.' Can I first of all say that the story kept me interested and I didn't want to put the computer down, so you certainly tell a good tale. There was a lot of narrative, and because of this, it was as though you were telling me the story. Personally I prefer to feel like I'm in there with them and I wonder if you have thought about telling Clemency's story in first person, perhaps using more "speech" to convey what is happening. Having said that, as I said, it did hold me. Can you explain what Clemency did that drew so much unwanted male attention? I will back this one, it's a good read

“elainanna” (21 October, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Clemency is odd but I love your portrayal of her. She is unique, and very real. She is honest with herself, so brutally honest, it's painful. Her happy ending is all about getting comfortable in her own skin and her decisions on the position her life is in right now.

“child” (19 October, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

The author manages to instill completely different voices into the characters of the first two stories I read. Clemency finally finds a true vocation/obsession and lives up to her name after becoming engrossed in the patch-worked story of Joseph's life told while he is dying. This was a poignant story very well told. The second, involving Mandy and Helen's fixations and inadequacies and an act committed in the name of passion, I found not so compelling.

Ren Nowaki (18 October, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Hi Fletch. Thoughts and nitpicks. Remember: only one person's opinion, disregard if inappropriate or completely off-kilter.

Choosing the Right Drinks. Oh nice ending. Sweet, engaging, rather lovely and uplifting. I wonder if you can do dark and disturbing too. You write exceptionally well, with great subtlety and depth. I'm enjoying this.

A Substitute Passion. Wow this is intense. Lots of issues rising up here and a complete cow of a misunderstanding. Nice work. Ooooh, yes, dark. Very nice. Really enjoyed this. Great layering and build up. Fabulous.

Irresistible Temptation. I did not like this story as much as the previous two; this seems a rather negative allegory of life and seems to involve a kind of self-destructive loop. I'm unsure if the old man met at the beginning is the narrator; if so then he should meet his younger self and pass out of the lane; if not then should there not be many elderly men roaming this lane as others emerge from their garden experiences? Also, the man seems to have learned very little from his sojourn in the garden save that it was a terrible experience. You would expect that if he were serious about warning others from the garden, he'd elaborate a bit more about its dangers. While I realise this isn't supposed to be grounded in reality as we know it, but still, there should be some kind of option - for there is always another option - for these young men to take. Two doors, rather than one, or the choice to run from the lane altogether. The way this is presented is that the gateway is there and people go through it out of that nihilistic instinct to disobey orders (or innate human curiosity). Without something else, there is nothing else, and I can't abide a singular presentation of life in such a way - hence why I do not like this story. It doesn't convince me.

Craig Stemford's imprisonment. Yup, big jump forward here! Interesting neighbours. I wouldn't have expected W11 to be home to porn directors (then again, I'm SE15, home to crack dealers). 'Would you like some tea?' - perfect timing there. I laughed. Interesting end idea. I liked this immensely.

Overall- your way with words is quick and detailed. You have a light touch that descends quite deeply. You mention in your profile that short story writing suits you, and this affinity comes across in the stories themselves. There's a mix of abstract and reality-based stories here, all relating to the human condition in its various forms and interpretations - at least, that's the impression I get from the selection I've read. I'm not sure how well this would do commercially but I suspect this would appeal to a broad range of people. You have nice work here, and I wish you well with it.

Kelketek Rritaa (13 October, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Your stories seem very existential--at least, the ones I've read. I'm not much of an existentialist, but I can appreciate them. You said you had improved A Martial Artist meets his Match in your comments, so I read that one. I didn't see what it was like before, but it seems rather polished now, and I found it enjoyable.

Choosing the Right Drinks, however, needs a bit of rearrangement. Some of the sentences are a bit too wordy, and the arrangement is a bit off. You slink back and forth along time scales a bit too quickly, so I often don't realize where in temporal space I am, and the conclusion feels like a giant duct tape wad slapped on the bottom of it. I actually enjoyed the story, but it just needs to be refined in how you tell it.

[This comment was on the draft I had newly edited on 10 October, which makes this reader’s comments all the more interesting! There had been much acclaim for the story previously and I had polished it further in the edit, so, if taken on face value, I would have to say that I found this reader’s comments puzzling. Now that I’ve received over 300 feedback comments from readers, I’m used to reading conflicting opinions, and some that are clearly the product of a “messed up” mind (though I would not place this reader in that category), or perhaps simply someone who has no clue about literature, despite having read all the “rules”. The variety of mental states that there are amongst people, is what makes people fascinating. fk.]

LonnieNonnie (2 October, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Quite a tapestry you weave with the forlorn Clemency and woeful, embittered Joseph. Competent story-telling in evidence but I found it a bit lagging in pace... Going to try another though.

Lorri Proctor (30 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

I became caught up at once with your style, imagery and the depth of understanding of your characters. The stories are well written, very well written, though at times just a little to verbose which made me skip a few paragraphs at times so I suggest you maybe go through and make the sentences a little shorter here and there and knock out some of the introspection of the characters because we readers can understand a lot without being told in detail. Sometimes it's not even important to know why the characters do what they do. The themes of the first five stories I read seems to be explore the minds and feelings of rather obssessive, way-out people and this is different, interesting, captures one's interest. But after a while, I felt tired of the wierdness and samness in some respects of the obsessions. I mean to read them all and see if you manage to make some quite different.

However, they are in many ways brilliant. Choosing the Right Drinks, and A Substitute Passion are my faves so far. I suggest you try sending a story to the Narrative Magazine autumn competition. Also take a look at Diiarts.com site. They want some short stories sent. Hope all this helps. Basically your work is truly good. Lots of luck Lorri

Pamela Wootton (30 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

I have read Choosing the Right Drinks, A Substitute Passion, Irresistible Temptation, and Samuel Pam's Salvation. And although I am not partial to short stories, I find that yours did managed to end without any questions going around in my head about what it all meant. Anyway you have a good grabs of what you intend to convey and I find that very professional. Well written indeed, Except for some issues, like your first paragraph for instant, is way too confusing. i.e Was sister Mary pondering to herself or was she pondering loudly to someone else? The sentences are too long, you could either punctuate them with comas or full stop and continue with another sentence. I find that when an opening paragraph is too long, readers tend to loose interest, so do I. But the main thing is that you are to be congratulated for a job well done and yes I would buy your book when it is published.

Edward L Smith (15 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I read Choosing the Right Drinks and all I have to say is that I can't wait to get back to my computer to read some more.

Cori “corichaffee” (13 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I've read Choosing the Right Drinks, A Substitute Passion, Irresistible Temptation, and Samuel Pam's Salvation... and I'm fascinated... disturbed... and impressed. I love that you have stepped outside of the lines of normalcy on these stories. You have written things that I wouldn't tend to expect, which makes them all the more interesting. I don't tend to read short story books, because I usually find that the stories are lacking- that by the end of each short story, I am left wanting to read more. You have masterfully managed to do the opposite. You write each one in such a talented way that I am left feeling satisfied in the story.

Excellent job and I am happily backing it.

Francine “Rhiannon65” (10 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Your stories are very good. I love some of the descriptions such as My Constant Companion. That hooked me. I also liked Choosing the Right Drinks too. I'm still reading, but I just wanted to let you know that I think that what I've read I like.

“sifulia” (8 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

You have a great way with words and description. I don’t actually see anything wrong with this- grammatically or otherwise. I really hope you get this published! Well done!

“lj reads” (7 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

You've got a 'knack' for short stories. I enjoyed reading Clemency.

“Jayboid” (7 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Well, well, well, Fletch, you've written a marvelous story here! It was a fine choice to begin your collection with. The first story in a short story collection is, I believe, like the first paragraph, then the first page of a novel. The reader will invest that much time to see if it is something he wants to pursue further. I read Choosing the Right Drinks and now I want to continue on. I'm taking a moment off, however, to enthusiastically back this. Congratulations on your success so far and best of luck in the future. Blessings, Jay Squires

N.A Randall (3 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Fletcher, I've just read 'Choosing the Right Drinks.' A lot short stories I read on these kinds of websites tend to be nothing more than outlines for novels which people haven't got around to writing yet, just raw ideas, undeveloped characters, and loose plot lines floating in the wind. In this story you've pretty much ticked every box required of a good short story. Moreover, there's a poignancy and emotional depth to your writing which is rarely found in the stories of establish writers. Faultless.

Gavin Lane (3 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Hi Fletcher, I read the first story last night - a lovely vignette. I enjoyed the slow revelation in Clemency's mind that the honest, desperate confusion and questioning of the dying man had relevance to her own life. I look forward to checking out other stories from this book.

Jessica “Jaemomof2” (2 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Fletcher, How you brought the "life in questioning" about intoxications, it makes me think like what are we actually here for? You brought that question into a story to read about people instead of you bringing out in just words, if you know what I mean. You bring life to it, fantastic work! I know quite a few people who WOULD LOVE this book because they ask themselves this question all the time. So many people can relate, great work! Best of luck!

“Ellgain” (2 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

First line and I love Clemency already. Sister Mary's state of mind is so vividly and unapologetically stated that it's wonderful and, indeed, you have the same sort of angle for how you describe Clemency. Black and white, straight to the point. It's humorous but sobering at the same time.

"She found herself awestruck, as by a baby who had not only just spoken his first words, but appeared to have an intellect beyond her own."

That's a great turn of phrase for describing the sensation and just a peek of the woman feeling it.

One nit pick - you might find that compressing one phrase may make the impact smoother: Joseph's eyes seemed to burn like a window onto an endless night of torment. As Clemency watched the dark, churning clouds through that window and thus shared his torment, if only for a moment, her smile wilted and her own concerns escaped her(. She was left alone, with an empty head, feeling as though she were standing abandoned amid that endlessness)leaving her with an empty head and feeling as though she were standing alone amid that endless night.

That grouping just stood out to me ever so slightly - take it with as much salt as you wish :)

The cough as an agitated dog is a unique and really pinpoint perfect analogy.

Though, I do wonder what has happened to Joseph after Clemency's revelation. I know it may not be entirely realistic, but there's that desire for one last... rounding out. Which, in the end, isn't a bad thing!

“Diane60” (24 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Fletcher, so far have read the first story- choosing the right drinks. love it. Thought it was well written and almost an old fashioned morality tale. Can't wait for the next one :) Diane

“Writergate” (22 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

re: CHOOSING THE RIGHT DRINKS: I found this story very compelling and sensitive, although the narrative could probably be tightened up and more focused. Clemency was very real for me, because she reminded me so much of my middle-aged niece who was been an aide in a facility for the mentally disturbed for many years.

I did find the name "Clemency" very jarring. Are there actually women who do have that name? I had the feeling that you used it symbolically, since, in a sense, your protagonist seemed to be seeking forgiveness for her existence.

Nicholas Lontz (22 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Only read Choosing the Right Drinks so far, but I am happy to say that this is one of the books on authonomy that I genuinely enjoyed. Although, the saxophone is a tremendously good sounding instrument so . . . I don't know what that was all about. Ha, but nonetheless, can't wait to read more.

Callaghan Grant (20 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

I liked very much "Choosing the Right Drinks". It has a lot to say and the characters are vivid and they are people with whom I could empathize. HOWEVER, the sentences are too long, too compound and too complex…. Still, the short story is the most demanding writing discipline and you have a great talent upon which to build marvelous characters, story lines and insights. I'll be back to read more later. I really liked the ending message of this first piece. Life can be full of unrewarding intoxications or it can be lived in lucid evolution that moves us towards clarity and meaningfulness.

[fk. This aspect of my style seems to divide the critics more than any other. every element of my long sentences is a deliberate choice. I have, of course, read all the same guidelines that other writers have in this respect, and I practiced them myself in the beginning. I then developed my craft further.

I have started to wonder if readers who don’t know all “the rules” have such a problem with the long sentences, and whether those readers are perhaps better able to appreciate what I’m doing with them?]

"James Apologist" (18 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Fletcher -- I just read Choosing the Right Drinks. I was much drawn into it and just about had to finish it. Your characters are all memorable. You would paint with your pen were you living in the 18th century. I noted that one of your reader said he had just a couple of nitpicks.

I am going to be much more up front because I think that, if your ability with words, grammar and syntax ever matches your ability to create characters and surprise endings, you might become a very fine or even great writer.

Bill Carrigan (18 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Greetings Fletch, I too like short stories and have posted 43 of mine on Authomony.com. I've read several of yours--with much interest and admiration. They're thoughtful, sophisticated, sometimes light, sometimes intense; and you're good at getting to the essence of your characters. I'm always critical of craft, but find no fault with yours, even in your long, flowing sentences, which are clear and economical. Indeed, there's a style to your writing that lifts it to a literary level.

That said, I have two criticisms, which you mustn't take too seriously, as other critics might disagree. First, I think you should break down some of your longer paragraphs, especially those that contain more than one person's point of view. For example, there's an opening scene in Choosing the Right Drinks where a nurse cries in the linen closet, then smilingly confronts her superior, whose mind we then enter. I see that as two paragraphs. Second, you do a lot of "telling" rather than "showing," a distinction emphasized by many critics. Dialogue can make the difference, bringing the reader closer to the action. In A Substitute Passion, the story takes off where Mandy and the fat lady argue. Suddenly you're SHOWING us. Of course, telling has its place, but try to find ways to dramatize your point. Think of a film, where you can't tell the viewer anything (except with corny voice-over); everything must be shown.

Best of luck, Bill

John Buchhalter (15 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

I can see this story transformed into a screenplay and as a Hallmark movie one day. Nice story! Backed with pleasure - John

Alonwi Carrovella (14 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Wow. I've only read "Choosing the Right Drinks" so far but I love it. I am ashamed to admit that I empathize with her. I guess I too have been obsessed with being lonely, unhappy and wallowing in my own "unloveability". Your story was full of emotion. You are really observant because you have portrayed human emotions so clearly. Your writing is honest, relatable and engaging.

Thank you - for giving me this moment of sobriety. I'm going to try look at life differently.....

T.Rhyder (13 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

I read the story about Clemency. Incredibly deep on a profound emotional level. This is on my W/list and I'll be back to read some of the others. Good work!

Lynne Ellison (10 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Have read "Choosing the Right Drinks" It is very interesting and gives good insights into the nature of human life.

Lucy Heath (10 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Hi Fletcher, I enjoyed Choosing the Right Drinks. The theme of changing passions in life and how they may not necessarily be ones that are good for us is an interesting one. On my shelf.

Duncan Watt (10 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Hi Fletcher ,These stories are witty, dry and totally funny. I love the title and the explanation for its use. In Choosing the Right Drinks I wanted to shake clemency out of her stupor, but at the same time I felt sorry for her.

If I had to make a comment I would suggest a good proof read to remove unwanted words, especially 'had'. Towards the end of A Substitute Passion: 'And Mandy said nothing, for there was nothing more to say; there was nothing left inside her, and the primal force that had made her stop and turn, now lifted her arm, and she watched, coldly, detached, as though watching someone else's distant memory, as her hand pushed the stiletto heel into the side of Helen's neck, pushed it with a force that had seemed to come from the centre of the earth. had seemed unstopable, irresistable, beyond any human intervention, had flown through her arm like a branch of invisible lightning'. I would cut this sentence and break it up for I did not realise until I re read it, there are 92 words in this sentence.

I would re write it: 'And Mandy said nothing, there was nothing more to say, nothing left inside her. The primal force that made her stop and turn now lifted her arm. Coldly and detached, as though watching someone else's distant memory she watched her hand push the stiletto heel into the side of Helen's neck. An unstopable, irresistable force that appeared to come from the centre of the earth, like forked lightning, seemed to power her arm'.

I Apologise for my pickiness. 'Backed'. Regards ... Duncan.

[fk. Hi Duncan. Many thanks for your comment and your backing. This type of thing is very much a question of personal taste. A few writers on this site have commented on my long sentences, whilst many others have praised that particular aspect of my style, saying that they very much like the fluidity of those long passages.
In those particular passages of mine, there is nothing accidental, and I have often carefully edited the passages over a few separate readings, each often a few weeks or months apart. Every aspect of the passage is deliberate. I read back the passage that you’ve highlighted, and I thought it was beautiful; for me, it has a musical quality to it. I read your edited version, and I have to say that if read such prose, I would feel a great aversion to it; your first sentence is not even grammatically correct. And when I read your sentences, there seems to be no “flow” at all; the prose destroys the “atmosphere” of the passage, for me. That “musical” quality that I strive to achieve in such passage is just not there, and never could be with your own approach to writing prose.

And as for removing “unwanted” words, such as “had”; to me, the words were all very much wanted. I do also very much like sentences to be sentences. If such words are dropt, some part of my mind then finds the “sentence” offensive, sloppy, inaccurate, unclear.

Now, of course, all this is very much a matter of taste. Over the years, I have gone through a whole array of styles in my own writing. At one early stage, my prose became so “experimental” that, when I look back on it now, I can see how many readers would have found it unreadable.

One thing I’ve realized since joining this site, and receiving feedback from writer’s with a wide range of tastes, is that when a writer reads someone else’s work, he feels the desire the edit the work so that it conforms to his own personal, current style. If he were to read the same work a few years later, his own current style …would have, hopefully, changed, so that he would “edit” the work differently. Over the years, I have noticed this tendency in myself. When I am reading any writing, including all the classics, I always find one part of my mind editing the text to conform to my own current style, while another part of my mind attempts to put aside all those considerations and simply enjoy the story. Best wishes, Fletch]

Daniel Delacy (6 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

"I chose my own drinks", metaphorically excellent!

“LN” (5 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Hello Fletcher, Read Choosing the Right Drinks - captivating. You definitely have a unique voice - Simple, gentle but persuasive. Happy to back. this.

“Jan” (3 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

HI, I have read Choosing the Right Drinks and it has some good ideas and clever characterisations. My only comment is that you might consider sticking to one character viewpoint in such a short story? I shall read a few more when I get time. Best of luck with this collection. I am a fan of short fiction and the outlets for them are few - so keep them coming.

“Noizchild” (3 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Choosing the Right Drinks seems rather interesting. It reminds me of the movie, "Waking Life," in a sense. I also love how you compared Clemency to a dog as Joseph is holding her hostage. The descriptions in the story are also good as well. I can tell this is somewhat of a draft. [fk. really?—now I find that interesting…] I see some errors in the story. Fix them up and this will be gold.

Marc “theweed” (1 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Choosing The Right Drinks - I like the imagery and the way we are taken inside the characters' minds. When Clemency leaves Joseph, however, you might add a break. I was rather stunned to find Sister Mary on the scene who came from nowhere. An unexpected ending was a pleasant close for the story.

Samuel Pam's Salvation was a bit odd, but interesting. I didn't quite grasp the ending, although I'm sure you had something definitive in mind.

If Only Cats Could Speak Japanese is intense in the human psyche. An intriguing story with a clever metaphor.

Your stories are provocative and stimulating. Some of the writing could be reworked for more efficient use of words, and shortened, relieving the reader from the burden of extensive narrative. I like your work and wish you good luck with it.

Cynthia "mscynthia" (31 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Hi Fletcher, I loved Clemency's story and how she found herself by talking to Joseph Milan. She had found a different intoxication in order to be happy with herself -- that was, to hold the hands of the ailing and to listen to their stories while tending to them.

That word 'intoxication,' you use it in such a positive context, that the whole story of Clemency itself, became intoxicating for me! Cynthia.

Brian Bandell (30 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

I read Choosing the Right Drinks and Daniel and the Wine Stain. I enjoyed them both. You're a master at creating characters with depth that are deeply impacted by their backgrounds. The ending to Daniel's story was shocking - in a good way. Well done and backed. Brian

"Crowel" (28 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I've only had time to read Choosing the Right Drinks but I will definitely be reading more. This story is very good. It kind of smacks you in the face, but in a good way. Screw self-pity, idiot! (that was me yelling at Clemency) I think that its a rare thing to produce such a warm feeling with this amount of words, which you did by the end. Good job! I am happy to back you. Lacey.

K.C. Hart (27 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Fletcher, I read three stories and liked them all. First, I read the nurse in the hospice story, then Daniel in the Disabilities Office, and last If Only Cats Could Speak Japanese. I loved the third one--so true, so sad, so funny. The image of the librarian following men about may never leave me. I enjoyed these immensely and wish all the luck in the world. Caroline.

S. Vinay kumar (26 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Hi, To be honest I thought it would be somehow boring but it made me to read it completely. It just pulled me into it. really you have a great skill. All the best in future. Backed with wishes.

“scorselo” (23 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Very well written, good dialogue and excellent handling of a variety of themes. Backed and recommended to all.

Ben Manning (22 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Dear Fletcher, I love the flowing - easy to read narrative. your style is effortless and faultless. I have only read Choosing the Right Drinks and intend to read more when I have time as you’re on my shelf. I love the intimate observations on loneliness, addiction, psychological self absorbed human behaviour that so often can perpetuate what we dislike most in our lives without us even realizing it. I also loved the descriptions of the man’s loneliness and pain in not being rejected but being in a situation with a women he admired only to feel terrible about himself. A very sad tale. But an interesting look at peoples behaviour and a nice twist at the end too that sneaks up on the reader in the nicest of ways to end on a positive note and teach the reader.

I’ve always loved short stories, from the great horror of m.r james to roald dahl and rod serling. It’s one of the toughest types of writing so well done!

Andrew Skaife (21 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I read Choosing the Right Drinks, and My Constant Companion; it was a fantastic tag line.

In Choosing the Right Drinks, Clemency is a complicated character and beautifully painted. She demands attention, perhaps deserves sympathy but sometimes I just wanted to scream out 'pull your socks up, woman! Sort yourself out!' The realism you bring to your characters is admirable.

Your writing style holds crystal clarity and a dry wit which are perfect partners for each other.

"...and then he paused, as if waiting for his cough to speak- as a disturbed dog will bark;" You wrap incisive perceptions inside intuitive thoughts and the result is a melange of writing that impresses me very much.

My Constant Companion. This was fantastic. It is phantasmagorical and definitive simultaneously. It is a dark, dark metaphor for incipient insanity and the problem that we all feel when left to our own thoughts for too long. You have mastered the short story (something I have never done) with a minimalist piece that strikes right to the heart of psyche and what it can do to us; we can never get away from it and when it attacks there is no defence.

I am so glad that I took the time to read parts of your work. Excellently done.

Denise “drachat” (20 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Hi Fletcher, I've read Choosing the Right Drinks. It is very deep and very sad; I feel just as much for Clemency as I do for Joseph. Growing up chubby and feeling very unattractive the mind can be a cruel thing! The regret Joseph has for everything he actually accomplished is amazing. Well done.

Pip Toodle (20 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Hi Fletch, I would say this is almost very good indeed. Your ability to empathise with your characters, to appreciate their feelings and convey them convincingly is excellent. You also have a great eye for detail, and use the details well to convey much more than you say. And the dialogue works well too.

Just sometimes I found the long sentences a little laboured, the imagery in need of freshening (Sister Mary swept into the ward - just a bit tired). I also found that the only physical description I had of Clemency was that she was fat. I think some of the language could still be pared down further… But this is really accomplished. Well done.

K.J.Rabane (20 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

I will be honest here - I didn't like Choosing the Right Drinks at all and was almost going to pass this over. Then I decided to read randomly beginning with Irresistible Temptation and found that your style reminded me in places of one of my favourite writers - Carlos Ruiz Zafon. This was an intriguing slightly bizarre tale but told skilfully. I loved the phrase - the woman kept beating me with my own words'. There was a rather long paragraph beginning ' In this manner' which I felt could be more concise but it's a minor point.

Andrea Segovia Loses Control was an absolute delight. I loved Andrea and her screwed way of looking at life and the problems that caused here. If only her mother hadn't been so keen on the soup bowls and the couch it could have all turned out so differently. This is a unique collection of stories well written and I will probably read more if I have some spare time. Good luck with it.

“Oldwarrior” (18 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I have to confess, I am a sucker for good short stories. I found some here. I read Choosing the Right Drinks and thoroughly enjoyed it. I'll be back to read more.

Kirsty "KirstyCrees" (15 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Hello, I found your work very endearing. I wanted to learn more about Joseph and more about Clemency. The chapter is very deep and makes the reader think.. I did like the short break where an image of the builder making gestures made me smirk.

You really delve deeply into the characters and the readers learns a lot very quickly.

Great dialogue and the flow works well as the small stories, keeps the reader going.

I.A. Mazaleigue (15 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Unique, well-written, brilliant. You have obvious got talent. Backed. :)

“January” (15 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Fletcher, You write about regret, and human experience so well. You take the reader to that special place where they understand what it is to be human, a very enviable trait in a writer. Definitely backed.

Best of luck. January

Nicole “nsllee” (14 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Hi Fletcher, This is sensitively done and has a wry intelligence. Backed.

Rosemary Peel (12 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I have never read a short story that gripped me more than CHOSING THE RIGHT DRINKS. I am not a short story fan as normally they are too light, too flimsy, too superficial and fictitious. Not so this one. I am happy to back this book on just this one story, but will of course keep the book on my watchlist and read on - and on and on! It has to get published so that more people can appreciate the strength and understanding in your writing. Thank you.

Brian Schneider (11 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

As Joseph Milan (me thinks this name is reference to Hemingway’s In Love and War…) remarks early to his nurse in the first story, “Dying is a sobering business.” Joseph grabs the wrist of his nurse, Clemency (another wonderfully named character), and continues, “Does that mean life is merely an intoxication?”

These opening lines made recall a conversation with the Australian writer Frank Moorhouse, who is now in charge of the Best Australian Short Story series. Mr. Moorhouse bemoaned American fiction’s current trend toward cleverness. He feels that most writers are merely thinking up clever one-liners, jotting them down in a notebook, and dumping said notebook of one-liners into a story about every other month or so.
In Stories From a Leaking Mind, Fletcher Kovich has several clever lines, however he expertly weaves them into the story. Just going with the above example, the life/death intoxication and sober metaphor is quite clever. But that is not what draws me to it. What draws me to it is the startling action of a patient physically grabbing his hospice nurse by the wrist to impart this information on her. This simple action creates the central tension of the story.

Yes, the dying Milan is very clever – but the pudding is in the tension.

Plus, I’m a sucker for great character names, and both Clemency and Joseph Milan (assuming I’m near right on the Hemingway bit) function perfectly within the story.

With Clemency all but shackled to the old man’s philosophizing – he won’t let go of her arm, and she’s too professional to do anything about, at least at first – the story evolves into the philosophy of drinking. Or more specifically, what does what one drinks say about the person? Needless to say, Clemency is not the drinking type, so this deathbed rumination has found deaf ears.

Except for that whole wrist-shackle thing which quickly leads to the interrogation. The unloved versus the loved.

Kovich uses this opening scene to set the stage between our protagonists, and suddenly the entire hospital seems to revolve around how Milan, now “Stone cold sober” in life, reaches out for the only outlet available to him. Is it love? Is it desperation? Is it the end? Yes, yes, and yes.

But be wary of who the desperate one is.

Bravo Mr. Kovich. I’ll certainly be reading more of Stories From a Leaking Mind.
Heartily backed, Brian Schneider.

JD Revene (10 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Fletcher, Choosing the Right Drinks. This is very well crafted. I like the way, her interior dialogue wraps around the conversation with the patient, occasionally touching.
I was thrown when the dog first appeared, as Joseph was talking of the saxaphone--and notice that the dog is twice described as agitated.

Three times now the dog is agitated. [fk. another reader commented that they liked this device; it’s fascinating that some readers get this sort of thing, whereas some other readers can’t]

This is a great, subtle story. One qualm, the first half of the third [to] last paragraph seems almost too obvious to me: I'm not sure you need to spell it out. But perhaps that's just me. [fk. I’ve looked for this paragraph, and I can’t see what JD is talking about here.]

Great closing sentence though! Loved it.

Cherry G. (10 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

I read the first 3 stories and I'll concentrate on the first, Choosing the Right Drinks.

The story of a dying man in the generally heartless hospice was uplifting.
I think the line that most reveals Clemency's low opinion of herself is her thought that the paunchy builder was so undesirable that he might be interested in her! But she draws away from her own thoughts of despair when Joseph grips her wrist and asks her if he has wasted his life. Clemency starts to listen to the man instead of responding with "Would you like some water?" or "Do you want a blanket." At last she says "What do you mean?"

When she listens she learns other people have regrets too, she's not the only one with the sorrow of her missed chance.. She notices even Sister Mary is obsessed with complaining and finding fault.

I liked the idea that once she started to listen to patients and to really care about them, her own wounds healed; although she couldn't save the dying, she could save herself. I think we could all learn from this because so few of us listen to what others say or even listen to ourselves.. Certainly, nurses have no time and/or desire to listen to patients, but most of us turn away in everyday life too. Turn away ( or hide in the linen cupboard!) or answer with meaningless statements that reject our own or another's pain.. A simple tale at one level but also a deeply philosophical one, .that touches on the eternal question: what is the meaning of our life?

Good descriptive writing with memorable characters and thought provoking themes. I enjoyed the following couple of stories too. The horror of Mandy's rage [in A Substitute Passion], taken out on poor Helen who was trying to act on the advice of her therapist and the next story [Irresistible Temptation] dealing with an awful realisation that a dream is not worth pursuing. I wish you luck with this collection and hope you find a publisher soon.

Tiffini Johnson (10 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

I've read the first three stories (Choosing the Right Drinks, A Substitute Passion, Irresistible Temptation), and am fully engaged, amazed and intrigued. Each of the short stories I've read contained real depth, great characters and the intelligent, thought-provoking theme of each hooked me into reading the next chapter. I will definitely be back to complete the reading, as well. You have perfected your writing well. Some of your sentences are long, but grammatically sound… And many of your phrases are very descriptive: for example, in the first story, the line "left him to quietly decay, under the fog of morphine and the same whistling worker" painted a clear image of a dying man in a hospice room, listening to the sounds of life about him. The only thing I might suggest is that sometimes your paragraphs and flow changed abruptly with little transition. For instance, in my favorite chapter, the first, I regretted that Sister Mary "flew in" so abruptly; I wanted to know what his answer was to her question and it sort of took me "out of the story" for a moment to be pulled so abruptly into a different scene. I'm wondering if perhaps there might be a way to add a transition sentence, such as "Sister Mary flew in, yelled at Clemency, who bade her patient a quick farewell" (or something) to help the flow between paragraphs feel easier.

[fk. I’ve looked at these passages again. I suspect that this sort of thing is solely down to personal taste. I like my lack of transition sentences. I trust the reader to be able to follow what’s happening. A short story, or novel, is not a movie, where “establishing” shots are required each time a location changes. Also, I think most writers feel the need to rewrite any story they are reading; this is natural; they are, after all, writers; so this type of suggesting, I think, is just expressing the personal likes and dislikes of the writer’s (Tiffini’s) current style. But if anyone else disagrees, do please contact me]

Honestly, I love books because they are theoretically capable of making me think outside the box, challenge my own thoughts and ideas. That sounds trite, but that's really, truly why I read and why I write (in fact, my logo is "stories that matter"). Unfortunately, there aren't that many thought-provoking novels/books/even short stories that evoke such strong inner reflection as this has. Congrats on a collection of short stories that reminded me of Faulkner's "A Rose for Emily" (a seemingly benign short story about a crazy woman but one which leaves all sorts of social and emotional questions behind). Of course, I've backed it.

“CarolinaAl” (8 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Clemency is sympathetic and well rounded. Your descriptions are effective. For example, your many descriptions of Joseph. You enhance your extraordinary narrative with clever similes like 'as by a baby who had not only just spoken his first words, but appeared to have an intellect beyond her own' and apt metaphors such as 'that rough piece of work at the window.' Your dialogue reads real, is interesting and advances your story. Your pacing held my interest. CHOOSING THE RIGHT DRINKS is an intelligent, provocative short story.

Sue “Wilma1” (8 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I think you have done well here you obviously have a talent and have a strong writer’s voice. You layer a story very well and don’t give away too many clues too early. Choosing the wrong drinks – This was a well written philosophical piece with Clemency coming to terms with what was good in her life, not what was bad and missing from it. I liked the fact that she went to the linen room cried then pasted on a smile and got on with it. We can all relate to that. Your next story had some really good lines (A Substitute Passion) her hackles rose; her pulse quickened her breast swelled. Very visual we knew what you meant straight away, a great example of Show not Tell. Writing short stories is sometimes harder than a novel as you have to move the story forward very quickly.

Micheal O'Durcain (8 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Choosing the Right Drinks had, I feel, a happy ending in that Clemency found a purpose that satisfied her.

Helen and Mandy, though surreal, were surprisingly credible in A Substitute Passion.

You write extremely well, the story flows, the characters are not totally strange though they might appear so.

Craig Ellis (7 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Choosing the Right Drinks is a winner, a sobering look at life's intoxications. Great dialogue and a message for us all. Backed with pleasure.

 “GK Stritch” (2 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Dear Fletcher, I want to print this out and hold it in my hands, or better yet, have this as a bound book and read it properly.

"Clemency was a fat girl." The simplicity of your first sentence hit my immediately the way Hemingway does. She hid in the linen cupboard at work -- strong, clear, concise, sad ,and funny.

From Joseph Milan, "I now have nothing to do but regret my intoxications." The saxophone replaced by golf -- hilarious, sad, and for those regretting intoxications, oh, so real.

Brevity is the soul of the man who knows how to write.

Elizabeth Wolfe (1 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

I read Choosing the Right Drinks. This is a nice parable for coming to terms with one's life and the good that is in it, even if one isn't a particularly accomplished or attractive person. The lesson is that once we start to have confidence in ourselves, we become more attractive to others. Very nicely done. BACKED -Elizabeth Wolfe

“AlleJo” (30 June, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Exquisite. Fresh clear voice, fascinating, beautifully written. I loved reading every word of this.

Simon “BigSimon” (30 June, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

This is humbling display of creative virtuosity and versatility.

Read three so far. Of these my favourite was Choosing the Right Drinks - a beautiful study of regret and redemption. The retrospective evaluation of a life as a series of intoxications before a sobering exit and the transformational effect of this on the aptly named Clemency is very skilfully presented.

Irresistible Temptation: with its distinctly Kafkaesque feel, I read as a satire on man's willingness to buy into a false dream, his inevitable dissatisfaction as that dream fades and our unswerving tendency to repeat the mistakes of past generations. -Or maybe not but either way, it was very interesting.

My Constant Companion: is also very thought provoking. Is this a study of paranoia or of depression? At the start I saw it as the familiar metaphor of being afraid of one's own shadow expressed literally, but towards the end, I saw the shadow more as a cloud of despair with the potential of leading to self-destruction.

Taken together, the sheer diversity of these three show enormous versatility and skill in the author. The writing is impeccable and the story content is both inventive and perceptive.

Quite extraordinary and highly enjoyable, Simon.

Gordon “homewriter” (28 June, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

You are capable of constructing the most interesting complex of characters. They seem real and unreal at the same time but nonetheless captivating. I wonder if there is a message, Clemency struggling and then finding salvation in a change of approach to her life. What an interesting trialogue with her, the dying, old man and the builder outside. I enjoyed your use of English: 'bear down on her like a mountain', 'as though he were hanging from a cliff edge'. Excellent. I will definitely return for more, Gordon

Kristen Stone (27 June, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

I always admire people who can write short stories. To say so much in so few words is an art I have not managed to learn. I only read two stories but these were enough to convince me this collection deserves backing. I wish you every success with it.

Norma E.Hilton (25 June, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I read the story 'Choosing the right drinks.' This was enough to impress me with your excellent writing. The story of Joseph and Clemency is full of poignancy. I loved the running metaphor of the disturbed dog's bark ( Joseph's cough) and the description of the builder nagging the wall with his trowel.

Melcom (25 June, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Your characterisation is definitely your strong point. Read Choosing the Right Drinks, and A Substitute Passion, and the time flew by which to me proves that I am reading a quality manuscript.

Great read that I'm definitely happy to back your book.

Lynn Clayton (22 June 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Read Choosing the Right Drinks, and A Substitute Passion. Like all talented writers you understand and portray accurately the opposite sex. These are the sort of stories I would read when not on Authonomy.com. They're funny and moving in a concentrated way, perfect for the form. Brilliant characters. Backed. Lynn

Tom Bye (19 June 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Hi Fletcher. I'm still chuckling after reading Choosing the Right Drinks, and other stories. love the builder and his comments about learning the saxophone. 'he didn't like the sound' and more, well maybe its because i play the sax myself. these are funny and well thought out stories.

Marianne (18 June 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

After I read your story, I dropped my club, walked off the course, and never played another shot. Backed. Marianne.

Katherine (17 August 2009 posted on Authonomy.com):

Hi Fletcher, Unusual stories in that three out of the four I read simply grabbed me in the first paragraphs and had my attention to the end. “Choosing the Right Drinks” accomplished characters with dimension, the "unloved" that I began to care about. Your finesse in storytelling was repeated. “The Price to Pay” lured me on with its humor and then went powerful. Very freaky. “Andrea Segovia” was hilarious and had almost a classic storyline, all the madness originating in that accident with Jorge. It is irresistible reading. Is "the swarm of insects she carried now.." a common figure of speech - I didn't follow that.

These are experiences, not just stories – Katherine

“Gail_M” (11 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

You clearly have a gift for imagery and your flowing, descriptive style makes these stories very easy to read.

I was tempted to comment on the length of some of your sentences but that's for an editor/publisher to decide; although unconventional, I found them quite lyrical and not at all distracting, as one would expect.

I felt that Clemency's tale ended rather abruptly and a little too conveniently, but I'm happy for her nonetheless, and up to now - four stories in - she's my favourite character.

This is a wonderful collection, and I wish you every success with it. Backed with pleasure. Best wishes

Patricia “greeneyes1660” (9 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Fletcher, I read 5 stories of this complex, well written collection. It feels like a Woody Allen work to me, either you get it or you don't, either you love it or you don't. I love things that make me think and push the envelope but they are more difficult to market, so you need to find someone who gets it and will make it shine to it's full potential, because this is a jewel.

Like a Capote or a Warhol you know you are looking and reading genius, yet, it can be misunderstood. I myself had to re-read story 3 a few times, I believe I got it, but I still feel it could be just as good without being so ( for me, only my opinion) abstract.

You are extremely talented and I wish you much success...You will definitely have your own set fan base once your work hits the market.

Titus “Bonar Law” (7 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Fletcher, I have just read five of your short stories [Choosing the Right Drinks, Substitute Passion, Irresistible Temptation, Samuel Pam's Salvation, Daniel and the wine Stain]. Can I stress at the outset that I believe it is harder to write a group of short stories and thread them well, in so keeping the attention span of the reader. Depending on their mood, they might cherry pick as it suits them and never realize the full potential of what is on offer. Stephen King and Somerset M and Du Maurier are my particular favourites in this field. You have written about what I think intrigued you first and I think that is the most important thing. We write because we enjoy doing it and if anyone else likes it...then well and good. Daniel and the Wine Stain stood out most so far. The stories are all off the wall, very digestible and could lead you somewhere.

 

Feedback on the whole collection of stories

Kenneth Edward Lim (24 May, 2011 posted on Authonomy.com):

Fletcher, Your stories make me think of Eleanor Rigby and all the forgotten people inhabiting the Beatles song. Your collection of stories focusing on lonely people battling inner demons to find relevance in life strikes a poignant chord in me, realizing that I could simply look around in my daily meanderings and spot one of your characters engaged in the very struggle. You have your finger on the pulse of humanity behind its guise of normalcy. Thank you.

Kevin O'Donnell (21 May, 2011 posted on Authonomy.com):

Refreshing and different. Little pauses in lives, snapshots of characters and their plans and struggles. I like these, but wonder if they have been compacted a little too much? Do the stories have room to breath enough? Just a thought. Kevin

“dshinton” (28 January, 2011 posted on Authonomy.com):

Hi. I like their frankness with which you speak, your stories are surprisingly short and to the point, which makes me think of Moliner's 'I Love You When I'm Drunk' collection. I often think that I must have a leaky mind so this was just my cup of tea. I definitely agree with the comment below, in that short stories are good for just pottering around with.

Tricia “Bradley Haynes” (24 January, 2011 posted on Authonomy.com):

I experienced your stories as buffeting around in dreams, meeting myself and different people, strange and unusual, dipping in and out of waking and sleeping. Different. Best of luck.

Claire Louise (12 January, 2011 posted on Authonomy.com ):

I'm in awe of anyone who can write a short story, I struggle with too much detail! You have some imagination and are clearly a talented writer.Good luck! Starred! Best wishes, Claire

“Bruki's Keeper” (12 January, 2011 posted on Authonomy.com):

These stories are very well written! They kept me interested, and were very easy to understand. The characters were really brought to life, and their minds and emotions were very easy to understand and get drawn into. The stories have great morals and a story line that keeps rolling, but allows the reader to think through everything that is happening. Very good! I hope to see these published! Backing it, and adding stars to it!

Samantha “Twist2010” (22 December, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Fletcher, All I could say is wow! I love the depth that the stories go into. I found myself in one way or another relating to the different characters. Great Work!

Athena Lyso (6 December, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

You are gifted with insight into the human psyche and a masterful way of weaving a tale with instantly recognizable characters to touch your reader.

“cicuta” (22 October, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Dear Fletcher, Sorry its taken me so long, but being an avid reader, (I am in no way a critic), but I was submersed in your collection immediately. Your mind, must be a malevolent force, only eased by fantasy, (just like mine). Its the way you have been able to weave several stories, with each being a great effort. Good luck for the future and take care.

“SaffinaD” (21 October, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Really enjoyed these. Unique, well written and took me through a range of emotions. A real rollercoaster read.

Clare “livloo” (12 October, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Fletcher, what a curious collection of stories. They are so unique and highly imaginative. Great reading !

N R Callaghan (12 October, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

This is different, interesting style of writing. I thought some paragraphs were overlong and the level of detail sometimes impedes the pace, but it's a distinctive collection. Backed.

“JPR” (4 October, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Dear Fletcher you have a wonderful imagination, I wish you every success. Book backed with pleasure. Jan

Jewels Diva (4 October, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Hi Fletcher, I do quite like short stories, you can always fit just one more in before you go to bed. You definitely have an imagination and your stories are quite interesting. I'm backing you.

D K Willis (4 October, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I admire anyone who can write short stories well. It is an art form that stands on its own and in many ways is far more difficult than writing novels. Your stories are very well done. Impressive in content and style. I am backing your work with pleasure and I wish you great success. Thanks for sharing, Fletcher.

Adrian Belisario (3 October, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Dear Fletcher, After having read a number of your stories, I have to say that you are a writer of great imagination and gifted with the talent and abilities to convey it in a unique voice. Perhaps I should say voices, as your stories demonstrate a wonderful versatility and depth of feeling across a array of situations. One is seldom treated to a writer with such a deep empathy for his fellow man (and woman) and able to draw the reader into their struggles with so little apparent effort. I think you are an author to be read and savoured (and perhaps envied a little, as well). If there's any justice your book will find publication. Keep at it; you're needed.

Bud Carroll (29 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Your stories are well written with an interesting morbid twist to them…. I backed your book and I have also put it on my watchlist so I can read more of your stories. Nice going.

J A Humm (19 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

What delicious ideas for stories. I bet you have to carry a notebook around with you for when these original little gems pop into your mind.

“kaysielynn” (17 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I read several of the stories here and found them quite interesting. You seem to have mastered the short story form!

Stephen Racket (15 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

A collection of well-written, thought provoking stories. Imaginative and skilfully crafted, a delightful mix. Backed with pleasure.

“kwestion” (13 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Entertaining and interesting stories, quite bizarre, like life can sometimes be quite bizarre. Backing it.

“chvolkoff” (12 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I don't know what to say, except that these stories are fabulous. I only read two, but I absolutely loved them! You have a great sensitivity to the feelings of women, (though you like them a little on the slighly "off" side :), and the writing is flawless, captivating, and the stories are poignant with an undercurrent of life, boiling underneath it all. Great job, and backed with pleasure! I'm glad I found your book, your mind is leaking some wonderful stuff!

Simon “SPW” (11 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

A fantastic collection of short stories. Many different styles on offer, and all the more entertaining because of it. Very well written, The dialogues are great and your descriptions vivid. The very best of luck with this and will come back to complete it asap. Backed

Alice “Pen Power” (11 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I have enjoyed reading your stories immensely. You have a great empathetic ability to be able to write about your characters with such understanding. I do wish you luck with your endeavours. all the best Alice

Miles A. Robinson (9 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

What a marvelously eclectic collection of extremely well told tales. Backed

Ron Mitchell (8 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Enjoyed your collection of stories. They are well written and entertaining. The dialogue drama brings the reader into the story very well. Backed.

Chantal “chantellyb” (8 September, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Very introspective and a good exploration of human nature.

PATRICK BARRETT (20 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I still come back to this collection and read another story or re-read the same one as last time. Your writing has a timeless quality and there is always a nuance I missed the first time.

Becca “ipaintwithwords” (19 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I love the blend of Literary fiction with comedy--some of my favorite lit fic novels take on that approach. I only had time to sample some of this, but the writing was good and I think lovers of short stories will enjoy what you have here.

David “Euphemus” (19 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Fletcher, Your stories are truly unique. Explorations of the mind and sinister in their findings. Your writing style is quite different in many respects, but I think the work needs more paragraphing which would make it easier to read. I only read three stories, but I am happy to back you.

Suzanne Adams (19 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

The shorts are thought provoking, contemporary and as far as I can tell very well written. Although I am not a fan of the short story, preferring something meatier I am charmed by this collection.

Diane “DMR” (18 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Fantastically compelling and so masterfully penned that it is imperative and easy to read these stories - well done!

“DarkTwilight” (18 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Fletch, You have a writing style that reminds me of Flannery O'Connor. A darker tone, but very lifelike. However, you have something that makes it your own, such as how you carry out the plot, sentence fluency, etc. I'm very impressed with this. Backed. =)

“stoatsnest” (17 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

This is exceptionally brilliant. Maugham-like indeed. Backed.

Clair “chuckylivesinme” (15 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

These are really powerful stories. They are well written, emotional and beautifully scripted. These characters are very real and complicated. but with touches of greatness. I wish you every success with these.

“SingingOwl” (14 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

This is superb. Writing is engaging and punctuation is flawless (how rare indeed is THAT?) and your stories are terrific! I only read a few, but will be back for more. I love short stories, and I know getting them published is a long shot--but this is excellent. Best wishes! BACKED happily.

Justis Call (13 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Wow....these stories are reminiscent of old Twilight Zone tv shows. Twists of fate, as it were. Very creative.

“CamilleS” (13 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Great stories and writing.

Gurmeet Mattu (12 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Firm, confident writing and a fertile imagination at work here. Backed.

Karen “klfullertonl” (12 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

This is well written and you have some compelling stories. This makes a good read.

“flower girl” (11 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I love these stories. They have a depth of meaning and have rich characters. The dialogue too is realistic. I only wish i could write short stories this well !! Backed.

“beeloveks” (11 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

These stories are like photographs, brief moments in time.

Katy “Tari” (11 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

What wealth of genres to choose from. Each story has its own twist. Some are inspiring, others frightening or giving food for reflection. Your style has such energy that spills out in the words and grabs the reader.

I would love to have this book. I'm reading a collection by Deaver at the moment, just finished another by Raymond Carver. i think your work rates highly. Best of luck, Kind regards, Katy,

“Su Dan” (10 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

A good collection of stories. having only read one, l can see you know this genre well. good writing...on my watchlist...

Natalie Bouhmout (10 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

By far one of the best reads that I have read so far on Authonomy.com. I have only read three but I am dying to read the rest. It will be remaining on my book shelf for quite some time. Backed.

Linda Lou (8 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Hullo Fletcher. what an interesting variety of topics your stories address. Very good.

“Sue G.” (8 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Fascinating ideas! Backed with pleasure.

Gordon Kuhn (7 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Interesting. Surreal. Odd. Good. Frightening. I think all of the above depending on which story you are reading. I enjoyed the several I spent time with as I was hooked and wanted to slowly go through them. Good job. Backed.

“Cly” (7 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I'm delighted to be able to back this book, highly entertaining, well written, thought-provoking. Best Wishes

Baz “Simpko” (5 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I am not a fan of short stories. I always feel like I have invested time in linking myself to something that is then gone so quickly. That said there are a few little gems in here. And (this may sound strange) I felt the less sensational stories made for the better reading. I found the ones that could possibly be called mundane showed the true skill and sensitivity of your writing to its very best. So good work and well done.

Christian Piatt (5 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Fletcher: you have a unique voice and perspective here, which presents both a challenge and opportunity. I expect your work may be best received by a speciality publisher who leans toward fresh, quirky humor. Best of luck with this.

Jane “hikey” (4 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

A rich selection of short and original stories that are entertaining and each well crafted. You have a real talent in this genre and the effort that you have put into your writing shines through. I have enjoyed these well structured stories and wish you the best of luck.

“zrinka” (3 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

These are some very interesting stories about ordinary people in some very unordinary situations. Love the way you bring the characters out to life and intertwine them into the plot. It all comes to life on the page and almost jumps out. Nicely done. Backed.

“Geveret” (3 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Achingly spot-on insights into the human condition and the ambivalence of the human condition. Shelved.

“WriterJohnB” (2 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Very nicely written and intriguing stories, from the half dozen I sampled. I'll gladly back it. I find it hard to believe there aren't magazines that would pay for fare such as this. Take care, JohnB

Chuck “Mr. Nom de Plume” (2 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Backed with great pleasure. The work truly fits my definition of literary fiction--difficult to write but when written well (as this work is) a great pleasure to read. Chuck

Heikki Hietala (1 August, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I like your voice, or rather, voices. Subtle nuances in prose, but always a good steady flow. Some explanatory text remains which can easily be edited out, but nothing major to fix. Easy to back.

“robf” (31 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

My only comment is that this reminds me of Raymond Carver, who is one of the all time great short story writers :)

Philip John (31 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Hello Fletcher, Short stories are not always easy to write even when the germ of an idea is there. But you have clearly mastered the art from the outset. You write with style. The dialogue, where it comes in, is good. And the stories themselves are captivating. Well done!

Faith “fh” (28 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Hi Fletch, This is certainly an intriguing collection of works. Normally I hate short stories but yours are a definite cut above the majority. Your dialogue is full of sparkling wit, anguish and is often very thought provoking. A couple of chapters I read are incredibly deep and sad. The characters totally believable. You have a talent, keep at it. good luck.

“Erika” (28 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I appreciate the craft of the short story and look forward to reading more of your work.

“BoOkLuVeR_15” (26 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I read a few of them, and I thought they were very good. The ones I read were funny, but it was really well written humour, and I enjoyed them.

David Placeres (26 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Hi Fletcher, I backed your book with pleasure. It's painstakingly written and dwells on people we likely see everyday but rather ignore because of our own intoxication. Excellent!!!

Abi Knight (23 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Short stories are such a challenge, and yours are so much more than little chunks of fiction. Each one is very distinct, unique and strong in its own right. You use dry humour in an excellent way to balance tone and link this anthology together, but its the depth and richness of the characters that makes these stand out. On my shelf.

Jenny "bluewriter" (22 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I think that you have stories that people will either love or hate. You also have tales that will reveal layers upon layers with further reading. Your work is well done and shows strong talent. Good luck. Backed.

“celticwriter” (15 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Hi Fletcher, backing your book happily. I do appreciate, and enjoy, a good flowing short story. And yours certainly are. Have not read them all...but looking forward to doing so. I'm not a critic, just a mere scriptwriter who is jumping into the novel world for the first time. However, I can appreciate a good visual, and you paint well with words creating fantastic worlds.

much happiness, jim

“Rakhi” (14 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

This is an amazing collection of short stories that inspire and touches the heart. I rarely come across a story that when read several times, each time it offers you a new insight, one that I can easily relate to and learn from. Your writing style is unique and makes the stories more richer and meaningful. I'm happy to have stumbled upon these and will be back to read more.

Joana Graça Moura (13 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I don't know much about short story writing but I know it mustn't be easy. Loved the pitch. Every single one of your stories appealed to me. You've really put a lot of work into your stories and it shows. What really got to me and made me a fan of your book is your ability to draw the characters in just a few lines. Congratulations on a wonderful job. Backed

Marija F.Sullivan (12 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Great characterisation, extraordinary eye for detail. Strong writer's voice. Backed with pleasure and best wishes.

Skip Mahaffey (11 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

What I loved about these stories is that you paint a picture, install the characters and then stand back and let them tell the stories.

The pictures are clear and the characters in just a few sentences are clearly drawn. The dialog is great and the stories are marvellous.

Anxious to read more. Bravo!

Be Brilliant!

John Connor (10 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

It's nice to read a varied and eclectic mix of stories that go somewhere, or say something, rather than just being dropped into a situation with little or no idea of what's happening.

Congratulations on a very nice afternoon's reading.

Backed with pleasure, and I hope you have a success with this.

Robert Davidson (5 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Short story writing has to be the hardest format anyone could chose. How to create 3 dimensional characters in such a limited quantity of words, how to work out a story line which grips, how to leave the reader satisfied?

You've managed all of the requirements. Well done. Definitely backed.

Andrew Foley Jones (5 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I love quirky shorts like these. And the intro to each one is a nice touch. Don t like comparisons but this reminds me of Will Self, the Maestro of this genre. really got me by the short and quirkies this.

Azam Gill (3 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

“Stories from a Leaking Mind.” [the name of my book of short stories on Authonomy.com]

The leak has turned into a welcome outburst threatening to become a flood of lyrical prose, and a starburst of rich characters. Conflict abounds, and runs throughout the stories. The short pitch at the head of each story is an act of kindness to the reader revealing, probably, artistic humility, a fairly uncommon virtue.

Tongue in cheek literary and popular references establish the implied reader-narrator contract. The choice of signifiers in perception and narration harks to a classical style. Yet, since they are known and understood, do not strike an odd note. Their judicious use embellishes the writing and reinstates good taste.

Thank you for a good read.

“missyfleming_22” (1 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

I'm kind of embarrassed you read my book before I read yours. Mine can never even hope to compare to your work! I've only read a few but I'm going to keep reading, which is rare for me I'm sad to say. There are so many emotions that are brought forth by your writing, to be able to bring those out in not just one short story but from all of what I've read is remarkable. Your writing is just awesome, I really don't know how else to put it and I'm being truly genuine. I felt like this wasn't something that should be on this site.

Like I said, I'm going to read on and I'm sure I won't be disappointed. Thanks for sharing this remarkable work with us, it's brilliant. A little something for everyone which is exactly how a collection like this should be!

Missy

“Mike LaRiviere” (1 July, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Fletcher, This is an amazing work that is reflective of the biblical book of Ecclesiastes. The work consists of personal or autobiographic matter, at times expressed in aphorisms and maxims reflecting on the meaning of life and the best things of life. It proclaims all the actions of man to be inherently vain or futile and that the lives of both wise and foolish men end in death. The speaker suggests that one should enjoy the simple pleasures of daily life, such as eating, drinking, and taking enjoyment in one's work, which are gifts from the hand of God.

As I read the chapters [In my story collection: Stories from a Leaking Mind], I did think that your mind was leaking the processes, challenges, fears, frustrations, and questions of life that all of us experience. This was masterfully penned to reflect the deepest thoughts of people at different stages in their personal lives as they relate to the lives of others.

I think that futility at life's end is the saddest of all fears when redemption of soul seems elusive. Often the answers to the greatest needs of one's life lies in the service to others and the giving of ourselves away in the process. This is so expertly depicted in your stories.

All of us, at some time or other experience depression, despondency, hopelessness, or self deprecation. You have used all of these and more in describing your characters and developing them to carry your storylines.

It is one thing to feel down and out, but the ability to portray these emotions on paper is a unique gift that is given to a precious few --obviously you are among those few. You are an excellent wordsmith and a painter of vividly sad, euphoric, frantic, and ecstatic conditions of the spirit. Very well done.

These are among the finest of stories that I have encountered on Authonomy…. I enjoyed this read --maybe enjoyed is the wrong word. One can't really get a warm fuzzy when they get caught up in the life tragedies that you have so distinctly brought to life. But, you get the drift.

I felt as though you took me on a guided tour through the minds of unsuspecting characters, and I got to experience rollercoaster thrills packaged as life's lowest ebbs and disappointments. Betrayal is ugly, failure in life is ugglier, cheerlessness if the ugliest of all.

Backed with pleasure and a recommendation for others to dive into these wonderfully.

Frank “Francesco” (29 June, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

A varied selection but one that does not vary in quality!!! Backed. Good Luck!!!!!
Frank.

Chuck “Mr. Nom de Plume” (28 June, 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Life is fast and short stories fit well into today's lifestyle. These works are among the best [on Authonomy.com], in my opinion. Good luck. Chuck

Paul “Thetinman” (25 June 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Fletcher, I checked a number of your stories here and found them hugely entertaining. You easily switch from first to second person as I go from one story to the next, and I found no spelling errors, missing quotation marks, etc, which is unusual to say the least. In other words, it was very polished.

You do sometimes 'tell' a bit in the beginning of each story, but it doesn't seem too out of place. I felt myself getting my bearings with your initial comment which is good, but would suggest you watch the passive voice when you do your brief 'tell'.

Other than this very minor nit, I'm really impressed!

Eley “Elires1067” (24 June 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

What an interesting collection...I enjoyed the stories (well most of them), thought provoking, deranged. The characters can be felt and understood.

Well done.

“Mooderino” (22 June 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

Really good. The writing is fine, the occasional typo but otherwise very fluid and easy to read. The characters are unusual and well drawn. each has his or her own inner life, I liked them even the unpleasant ones. The dark humour is very well handled. so from a technical point of view I think you have some solid writing here.

Where i think you lift the bar is in the themes and ideas. The observations on life were very original and engaging. I enjoyed the style and voice you used, and it felt genuinely heartfelt without being preachy or forced. Excellent.

Andrew Burans (22 June 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

I admire authors like you who can write a collection of short stories and move seamlessly from one divergent character to another. Your stories are well constructed and you build your characters superbly. Your descriptive writing style makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed.

Yasmin Esack (20 June 2010 posted on Authonomy.com ):

You have the power of the pen and connect extremely well with the reader. Your opening lines are catchy and the characters are realistic and attractive. Happy to support this.

Denise (18 June 2010 posted on Authonomy.com):

Fletcher hello, well your title just jumped out, grabbed me by the throat (well I should say mind) and would not let go. What a wonderful title and the ‘wonderful’ is a bit weak really. You are obviously a seasoned writer looking at your pitch, and the body of your book is easy well paced and just love short stories, though I would think they are harder to produce. You manage to captivate early and keep me and I have not finished the book yet but will continue. ..BACKED for sure...Choosing the right drinks just stayed in my mind and that is the best compliment I can give at this time.